The Best Interest of the Children

The Best Interest of the Children                                                         5/11/16

In the best interest of the children is what they claim it’s about

But so many who have been through it dissent

It’s about money, about power, and keeping the status quo

Not one bit is about what’s best for the children

Ushered in and rushed about, because they are in a hurry to get you out

There are hundreds or thousands more to get to—your case is just one of so very many

And although you’ve waited months and sometimes years for your day in court—

It matters not—you’re just a number

Your children have no faces—their plight is not theirs

Their goal is to be done quickly and to gain as much from you as they can

Your children are suffering, being abused—their cries are not heard, just tossed away

It’s never been about their best interest, only what the court/states can gain

You see they fund so much with the money that they gain—

Dollar for dollar—what you pay in support is matched

Without your money they would have to figure out how to fund the programs served with the funds

It’s not about your child’s best interest—it’s about what the states can gain

Because of Title IV-D, it will never be about the children

Just politics and government, numbers and money—that’s the only interest served in the place they call Family Court


Words                                                                                                 5/11/16

Words- All these words floating around in my head

Words that are wanting to be said

Words that have meaning in one way or another

Some beautifully combine as if writing themselves in my mind

If only they would come out as they appear in my head

Write themselves on the paper so neat and so clear

Oh the things I have written in my mind over the years

Words of peace, love, frustration and hate

Words that describe, explain, or define all that’s going on—all that’s went on in this life of mine

Words that may be lost—oh how I hope they aren’t

While I discover the best ways to bring the words from my mind to life

Words said and unsaid—helping make sense, make peace, or share experience

Words running through my head

I am having a rough day today

I have fibromyalgia and a host of other diagnosis that go along with it, most came before my fibro diagnosis. Today it is Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) that is giving me a hard time. I know, some of you are thinking that it’s a taboo topic, or ewe TMI. But seriously, it has much more to it than the obvious bowel issues. Yes it does mean more trips to the bathroom (also causes some to pee more frequently) and feeling a bit flu like, but stay with me if you dare while I explain how it affects me.

When my IBS acts up I have headaches and my body aches are amped up. Sometimes the nerves in my body kick in and it feels like I have lightning shooting through my body. Muscle cramping is multiplied and I feel overly tired. I often don’t feel like eating much, which only makes the whole thing continue longer. Did I mention the headaches? And then there is a fog that covers my brain, my thought are slower and jumbled and my words are sometimes, too. This strange tingling happens in my hands, and sometimes travels up my arms.

Sometimes it would seem that nothing triggered it, others I have some clues. Lack of sleep, stress, too much activity, too much dairy, something I have ate, or not eating enough are all noted triggers. It might even be tied to one of my other diagnoses, diverticulosis. The reason never matters much when I am going through it, I just make note and try to subdue it.

There are medication that the doctors prescribe, as they have for many other things…. There have been times when I depended on them, although that hasn’t been the case for years. Pepto-Bismol will do the trick. Rest, hydration, and eating what I can… bland foods are usually best.

The increased pain I feel is in my head, feet, hands, joints and lower back. It means I have to eat something to take some Tylenol or ibuprofen, because the life of pain I live has taught me that taking them on an empty stomach only increases the likelihood of developing another ulcer.

This isn’t a side of me that I allow others to see or know much about. I don’t write this to complain or for sympathy, only to bring awareness and to share some of my story. It’s not at all that I am ashamed or wish to hide my diagnoses, it’s just that I chose to live my life and not let them define me.

Clothes purge

Today I decided to go through ALL of my clothes. As a woman who has fluctuated in size, it has always been difficult for me to let go of great clothes in the hopes that maybe someday I will fit into them again. I intended to go through clothes any way, but the prospect of moving across the US has given me great motivation.

I didn’t follow trends I have read like, “If you haven’t worn something in a year, get rid of it.” My method was more practical and contemplative, which is similar to how I operate. I asked myself one question, “Do I really want to tote this across the country with me?” This question has brought me a very liberating clarity.

When questioning if I should keep something or not, I tried it on. If it fit and I liked and wear it or would wear it, I kept it. I did keep a few things that were a little snug, b/c they are too cute to let go of and I would miss them terribly if I went down a size and could fit into them. (Seriously, it amounted to about 5 items…. Which is a vast improvement from clothes hording tendency.)

I filled three tall kitchen garbage bags with clothes. There is even a shirt with the tag still on it (it was too big when I bought it, I should have returned it). I will take them to the thrift store so that someone else can get enjoyment out of them. It feels great to let it all go. I feel lighter and less burdened already.

My next project will be going though shoes. Although I have previously went through them, this time I will do so with my newfound criteria.

What would be the hardest thing for you to let go of in a downsizing effort?

I think the answer to that question is rather telling of the person. I would love to read your responses.